I Can’t Believe They Made That–Part 1

There are some amazing for sale – things so cool, you absolutely must buy it, no matter what it costs. And then there are the things that are amazing because they make you go, WTF? The amazing thing is that they exist. Someone believed the world needed this thing, and paid real money getting it made and marketed, and presumably, other people are actually buying them.

I wasted some time browsing the bargains on ThinkGeek.com recently, and these are some of the WTF-amazing things I found.

Star Trek Tribble Slippers with Sound – $12.99


Yes. House slippers that are made of the fictional, furry, prolifically replicating pet from Star Trek. Apparently, they are supposed to be alive, as they make “tribble sounds” as you walk around in them. Absurdity of the actual design aside, it’s just cruel. Yes, the site says the tribbles are happy like this. What else are they going to to tell you? Tribble Slippers are Murder, I say!   Or it would be if tribbles were real.

Flying F*CK R/C Helicopter – $10.99


When it comes to gift-giving, I don’t give a flying f*ck. This r/c helicopter is made of the infamous four-letter word and it flies. Maybe you are the sort to give a flying f*ck. You could be that guy. I don’t know why you would want to, but you could.

USB Pet Rock – $6.99


If you remember the 70’s, you probably remember the Pet Rock. This is the new version, made for the computer-connected world. Just because something can be made to plug into a USB port doesn’t mean it should be made to plug into a USB port. Just like its predecessor, it doesn’t do anything. At all.

DIY Wooden Knife


So, it’s a knife made of wood, including the wooden blade. That makes it almost useless as a device to cut stuff, commonly known as a knife. And it comes unassembled and must be put together. Hm.

Alright, I do see the value in a kit-toy. People spend hours putting jigsaw puzzles together, and what purpose does it serve when it is completed? So the DIY Wooden Knife is like that – the fun and enjoyment comes from assembling it. It’s marketed as a way to teach kids about knife safety. That’s all wrong. They should market it as a DIY Vampire Stake, but what do I know.


This will be an ongoing series and is an effort to draw at least a small bit of productivity out of wasting two hours browsing goofy gadgets on The Internet.  I’ll update the post with a personal review of the Tribble Slippers after they arrive.  Yes, Tribble Slippers may be murder, but they look really comfortable!

© 2013, Mitch Lavender


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