Third Place–Grate Righter, Bad Speler 2012 Contest

by Bernard O’Rourke

 

A Spel in Prizon 

I woz nevirr a gud speler. I don’t lyke wurds, and wurds aren’t crazie aboot me ether. But synce dis izz my last chanse two rite annithing, I feel lyke I need two put deese wurds two paypir.

I’ll giv yoo the short vershun and nutting else. I’ve been sentensed two deth. Fur a bad sentense. Or a bad clauze, or and tence, or a silly-baal. I couldn’t reed all dose paypirs day made me sine. Two manni big, confuseing wurds – lyke dee-fend-dent, ack-use-ate-shion and conn-fesh-onn.

If I ever kom bak, the furst ting I’ll do izz lern to spel. 

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