The Grate Righter, Bad Speler Contest!

Write a great story, horribly spelled – you know you can do it.  If you’re like me, you do it all the time.  And there are lots of lovely prizes!

That’s right, your English teacher may flip, but if you are one of the winners, you’ll have a snazzy t-shirt!  Or bumper sticker.  Or spiral notepad.  Or tote bag.  Or pen, or whatever, all proclaiming to the world:


Goal of the contest

Write a complete story in 100 words or less (not including the title), spelled horribly.  The worse the spelling, the better, but it has to readable!  The story must be complete and contain the five important elements of a short story: character(s), setting, plot, conflict, and theme.

The winners will be the best stories, plagued by crazy-bad misspellings.


  1. Story must be complete and less than 100 words (not including the title).  Stories over 100 words are automatically disqualified.
  2. Story must NOT contain numbers for words, i.e.; ‘”gr8” for “great” or “4” for the word “for” and so on.  Use words.  Very, very, messed up words.
  3. While the story should be rife with misspellings, the judge(s) have to be able to read it. If it is so badly spelled that it is deemed unintelligible, it will be disqualified.
  4. All submissions must include a full mailing address and preferred shirt size.
  5. Only one submission per household, please.
  6. By entering, you agree and allow your shamefully misspelled submission to be published on You get to keep the rights to it.  I insist.
  7. Have fun with it!

What are the prizes?

Everyone who submits a valid story gets something!

1st place: “Grate Righter. Bad Speler.” t-shirt, tote bag, bumper sticker, spiral notepad and pen. And… a mystery prize, worth hundreds of cents!  WOWIE!!!

2nd place: “Grate Righter. Bad Speler.” t-shirt, bumper sticker and pen. AMAZING!!!

3rd place: “Grate Righter. Bad Speler.” t-shirt.  COOL!!!

4th place: “Grate Righter. Bad Speler.” bumper sticker. GAAA!!!

All entrants: receive a “Grate Righter. Bad Speler.” sticker, magnet and 4”x6” sign to proclaim to the world that you are a Grate Righter, Bad Speler. (As long as supply lasts.)

Click here to see the prizes.

Contest closes at 12 AM CST on Sunday, May 29, so hurry up!  Turn your spelling checker off now and write!  Right liyk teh winde!

Contest Disclaimer (legal crap)

No purchase necessary. One entry per person. Incomplete entries will be disqualified. Entries arriving after the contest ending date will be disqualified.  Entries that do not include a mailing address will be disqualified.  Contest entrants must be residents of the USA, Canada, England, Australia, Ireland or France.

Mitch Lavender is not responsible for lost, misdirected, or delayed entries. Entries received by telephone, fax, courier, or personal delivery will not be accepted. Personal information submitted will NOT be sold or made available to anyone outside of Life in Sixty-Four Square Feet staff. Prizes are not redeemable in cash and must be accepted as awarded. Decisions of the contest judge(s) are final – no substitutions will be available.


Don’t forget to include your mailing address to recieve your valuable prizes.

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