This online writing analyzer says I write like an author I have never read. Go figure.
In my dreams, I write with the tight and uncompromising prose of Cormac McCarthy, the sly, charming wit of Mark Twain, and the fearlessness of Chuck Palahniuk.
In truth, I write more like Spongebob Squarepants on Lithium, imitating Christopher Walken. On Lithium.
I’ve nowhere to go but up, babies. Nowhere but UP! This is who the analyzer said I write like: